Why do children misbehave at home or at school?
- Because they are bored- reported in TES that a third of schools bore their pupils. I suspect the same can be said of us parents !.
- Poorly explained and maintained boundaries.
- Lack of respect.
- Inappropriate teaching/learning or parenting style.
- Problems at home.
How do we change?
- Make the curriculum at school and activities at home more interesting.
- Remember that boys in particular learn better when they are doing something that is more physically involved.
- Boys need competition to thrive.
- And for those of us that teach - it is an idea to have a no hands up policy, this prevents the same children answering all the time and encourages others to be involved.
- Meet and greet children as they arrive in the class-set the scene as the day starts- look for signs of unhappiness and try to sort before the lessons start. This can be the same if you are a parent and about to either go shopping or perhaps attend a big event like a wedding.
- As it often case of school every lesson is treated as a clean sheet. At home you can move onto a new activity and treat this as your clean sheet.
- Break your lesson /parenting day into small chunks- quiet and still/ physical - ie use hand clap game to brain storm ideas/ share knowledge in pairs. And if you are a parent at home perhaps a game of i-spy?.
- Agree firm fair boundaries and be consistent.
- Respect is a two way street.
- Maintain a child's self esteem .
- An activity that is fun will get done
When things go wrong
- Deescalate the situation.
- Gentle reminders- praise then a quiet reminder.
- Use child's name, maintain eye contact, say thank you but not please as this suggests you are asking them or pleading.
- Be aware of everything that is happening.
- Ask child- What should you be doing?Do not tell. A child's attention is maintained and they are taking ownership of the situation and their behaviour ( it is helping develop self awareness)
- Do not disagree with child- this causes an argument and leads to confrontation.
- Humour can sometimes deescalate a situation.
- Give child choices- right choice = praise, wrong choice = consequence.
- Always seek help and advice - it is OK to say you need suggestions / help.
- Be critical of your own performance and teaching of your lesson if you are a teacher. If you are a parent it is pretty much the same really!.
- Observe other parents and observe your child's teacher if you help in their, class or another class or year group.
- Share knowledge and experience.
- Look for solutions to problems.
- Children can see if you lack confidence- appear confident and remember body language.
I don't have all the answers to behaviour management in children these are just a few useful tips. Your parenting style is up to you and no one can tell you how to bring up your own child. Do what is right for your child at each stage in their life and take it easy and don't stress over things. Parenting is for life . It is a honour to be a parent and should not be seen as a chore.