Wednesday, 7 September 2011

Bullying .... and school reunions

I logged onto facebook to find there had been a school reunion, no I hadn't missed it I hadn't been invited. They say school days are the happiest days of our lives, I enjoyed school mostly. Though what I really hated was the bullying, now I wasn''t bullied by the friends from the reunion, I was bullied from an early age all the way from Lower School to Upper school. Its horrible you have low self esteem and you are a social outcast.

I remember one occasion when the children in my class did a survey to see who liked me , finding this out set me on the life long feeling on ;feeling unworthy, being the social outcast, not being the popular one. Now I understand being at school is not all about being popular but you have a basic right to be happy, and there is nothing crueler sometimes than children.

Yes I am an only child and no I DON'T have only child complex I had a range of hobbies and wide circle of friends at school, the odd one was a good friend ( of which I do keep in contact with still). I suppose to some friends I was the token odd ball that they kept as amusement to show those around them they were a charitable case.

If you let it twitter and facebook can be like that too, you have the popular people on twitter and facebook and dare I say even the bullying and being the social outcast. I haven't being bullied on twitter though I have been made to be the social outcast. I have made some good friends on twitter and I have even met one of them. Are you griped with panic if someone un follows  , do our own insecurities make you panic. is twitter your last bastion; your refuge from the real world,your comfort blanket?.  Twitter is a tool and not a friend that needs to be used in the right way.

And on facebook yes I will be your friend if we have similar interests but no I don't want to be a farmer or indeed run a cafe. That's for you and not for me, I have enough trouble sometimes living in the real world.

I do sometimes wonder indeed if I make a difference a bit like 'Wonderful Life' I am sure I do . The work and effort I put into my job surely makes a change to someones life.  I enjoy solitude and sometimes may run a mile when a social occasion is presented to me. Is there a result of a troubled school life, if Sigmund Freud was around he'd probably say it relates to mother issues. And trust me I don't wish to go any where with that one, bearing my soul for the whole of the social media world I don't think so . A tortured genius , yes that's how I will think of my self my school friends never really understood me at all. So I am like the great Beethoven not in a musical way of course as my piano and harpsichord lessons never turned me into a concert pianist much to the disdain of my piano teacher 'Mr Bond'

So if you don't comment , I am going to think you are not my friend ; Social media mugging of course : I take no prisoners!.


  1. There's been dozens of school reunions from my high school and I haven't been invited to any of them. I wouldn't go anyway, I hated school.

    As we get older, friends come and go while true friends stick. If I were you, I'd put the friends you had at school in a box and close the lid. They're not worth bothering about.

    CJ xx

  2. Claire. This is a very insightful piece and you have very clearly highlighted how things in our past can impact on the present and shape our future. It is important that children are taught to be assertive in a kindly manner from an early age so that they are neither victims nor aggressors and will be willing to stand up for others. It isn't enough to stop the bullies, we need to ensure the 'bystanders' will take action and shun the nasty behaviour of others. You are what you have made yourself and from your blog, it is clear, you have much to be proud of. You touch the lives of many at work and through your blog. No-one can really tell how far their ripples travel. Not being invited to the reunion was their loss at the end of the day. Take care.

  3. My dad was in the diplomatic corps- 14 different primary schools- my memories are a jumble of first day nerves and packing! No memories of bullying; we were all too busy worrying about whether the next bomb had our name on it.

  4. Bah! I wouldn't want to go to my school reunion anyway, I kept in touch with the friends that mattered (all 4 of them!) and honestly have no interest in what the rest of the swots are doing!

    My first introduction to you Claire was when you naively entered some Facebook competitions using some googled images. You learnt from that mistake the hard way, people were very cruel to you and you apologised - you were going through a bad patch. I was lucky enough to meet you in real life as you live locally, and you are a lovely, sweet lady. Not all of us have lots of friends and the internet can be a cruel place when people you think are your friends are being mean to you behind your back!

    I love your blog and find you and Rollie wonderfully entertaining! Next time you feel down, tweet me and I'll come round with Ryland for a cuppa and a moan! xx

  5. I only have contact with one friend from school and like you I didn't think anyone really knew me that well anyway. Whilst now, I know an awful lot of people but can count my true friends on one hand - 3!

    School reunions are really for people who haven't moved on with their own lives, feeling the need to re-kindle relationships with people they haven't seen in 20 years - You should feel sorry for them because you have moved on! :-)

  6. Oh, I've just come on here to comment and I see The Barnes Family has already said just what I was going to! Forget the people who feel the need to live in the past and concentrate on those in your present and future life! Whoever said "Schooldays are the happiest days of your life" can't have made the most of their adulthood.

  7. Great post. I was bullied at school - I would never go to a school reunion. I still have biter feelings for some of them and it just wouldn't be in mine or their best interests. Anyway - who needs school reunions when you have's just another reason to show how "great" your life is.

  8. i could never go to a school reunion!! In school I got good grades...people copied my home work and looked over my shoulder in class tests...every1 thought i'd be a success but i have to admit to making quite a few mistakes along the way and now i'm 35, unemployed through ill health and a shadow of my former self! i still have 4 or 5 school friends who i talk to regularly who know me for who i am and have been there since school, not really interested in any1 else!


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