Wednesday, 12 September 2012

Things kids say ...

Imagine if you will a crowded football stadium to the left of you the Garibaldi brigade, 1970's thermos firmly clamped to their hand, the widest set of flares ever ( one flap of those and a South Polynesian Island is wiped out in a hurricane called Barbie )

To the right of you is Mr Shouty ... sweary man .. nothing can shock him or could it .

You are know stroking your imaginary beard aren't you?.




You know how it is you are at your local football match when you take a child .. one that has seen Soccer AM and won't for the love of God  what ever deity you pray to . And you child just won't Shut Up.

You have the "Mum I am hungry ..."


"Need toilet NOW" whilst exhibiting dance moves the Bee Gees would be proud of.

Then the toe curling comments come and there is no escape you are in the middle of the aisle trapped between Garibaldi brigade and Mr Shouty man...

"Mum As we are Derby we are the Rams..."chirps the innocent one of doom.

"Yes Darling" basking in the warm glow of the proud Mummy moment.

"If we were a bunch of cats..."


At this point I am mouthing the words No ... Too late.

" We'd be a bunch of pussies" at full eye piercing shrill child voice.

Last I saw as I dragged took him for some chips post haste was the Garibaldi brigade were tapping Mr Shouty man on the back who was  chocking on his sausage role.

Bless his little cotton socks.


5 comments:

  1. got to love them havent you. I remember my daughter coming home from school and asking why the boys pee in the sinks so being a good mum I explained about urinals and as the questions continued a penis. A few days later in the swimming pool this well endowed man in a rather skimpy set of trunks comes in, as loud as loud could be she says "look mum that man has got peanuts in his trunks" dont know who was more embarresed me, him or the rest of the hushed pool.

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  2. That is brilliant! Glad it's not just mine xx

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  3. Love it!! Especially the split second before when you cringe cause you know exactly what they're about to blurt! x

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  4. Oh-oh! That's a classic entry for the book of innocent child gaffs!

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  5. These are fab, kids are so funny. Here's mine http://www.susankmann.com/2012/09/the-funny-things-my-children-say_11.html x

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