My 2013 for the most part was horrible and it wasn't till my holiday in Florida Orlando that I began to relax all that tension just flooded away into the Florida blue skies. Even thing looks better in sunshine ; like sunshine on a rainy day . I bet you feel like singing now don't you?
So my life had gone from zero to hero again I was my families hero again .
Dear Family
I am sorry I robbed you of joy and happiness for so long, it was a situation I couldn't cope with, it was if you didn't know who you were living with. I wasn't a wife and I didn't feel life a mother I felt like a prisoner in my soul. I felt as if I had failed you and had built up walls between us I felt sad.
I knew that you were there but I had a fog over my eyes that didn't lift till we were on holiday. And then my walls of resentment and hurt began to crumble ; moments of importance had been lost in the fog of my worry and woe before.
And now I saw our moments as moments that mattered ,our holiday mattered and I did my utmost to make it work and it did. I smiled, I laughed I even let my picture be taken, I fed a stingray I didn't panic when I lost something . We were family; we were the ones we mattered, it was our moments mattered and I look back at bad times only a little just a little knowing I can move further forward.
I look forward to our holiday this year and making more moments that matter. And you have me a wife a mother and moments that mattered from last year and yet to come.
Yours Claire
Thank you to Lloyds Bank for helping me relive my moments that mattered. I am being sent some vouchers in conjunction with this post.
Sound a like the holiday was the break through you needed. A beautiful post and very special photos to treasure x
ReplyDeleteI'm really pleased you've found yourself again. I too struggle with having my photo taken but I'm getting better!
ReplyDeleteGlad you're back from the sad place.
ReplyDeleteDo I get my kitten now ?
Or wine ?
I'd prefer a kitten to be honest :)
That's great that the holiday made such a difference! I would love to go to Florida in future too!
ReplyDeleteI was a bit like that last year too :( glad you managed to get things sorted x
ReplyDeleteHoliday's make such a difference don't they - looks like you had an amazing time xx
ReplyDeleteHolidays make a huge difference don't they. Glad you are feeling better now xx p.s your son is a handsome boy
ReplyDeleteThank you Melissa xx
DeleteFlorida is such a happy place, good to here it made you and your family happy.
ReplyDeleteSounds like the perfect holiday together as a family! It's hard to find and cherish those moments that matter when you're going through hard times, and I think this letter is so amazingly honest - thank you for sharing x
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you're in a happier place - sometimes it's easy to get lost in the negatives of family life.
ReplyDeleteSo glad that you feel happier now and the holiday sounds like a great pick me up.Wishing you a very happy 2014 and pray that you keep smiling always.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you are in a better place. We managed our first family holiday in many years last summer and it DID make a big difference. Coincidentally I just posted a special moment post! http://musingssahm.blogspot.co.uk/2014/01/a-special-moment.html
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad that your holiday was so fantastic and helped to change your mood.
ReplyDeleteIf I comment twice can I have 2 kittens ?
ReplyDeleteSo glad you're feeling happier Claire. Sometimes having some time away puts things into perspective. Sounds like you had the best holiday - great photos too :)
ReplyDeleteSounds as if your holiday came at just the right time. You've written a very moving post, thanks for sharing your experience.
ReplyDeleteOh sweetheart please don't be so hard on yourself. I'm glad you had a good holiday xxxx
ReplyDelete"So my life had gone from zero to hero again I was my families hero again."
ReplyDeleteI'm sure that you were always your family's hero despite your suffering. Love is unconditional.x