Saturday, 27 September 2014

The harder I try

The harder I try.

The harder I try the less I fit in , I've been wanting to fit in my whole life , you might understand you might not. Take my prom for instance , I couldn't afford a dress in fact the cat fared better than I did at home at the time.  My parents were divorcing and my dad other than wanting the custody of the cat didn't help much,  the cat ate better than me.

I was reduced to eating boiled eggs on ryvita , and whilst this might sound like I'm playing the victim as I've been touted about in various sections of life , you know nothing of what I've been through this is but a snap shot.

I borrowed a dress to my prom , I didn't have a prom date , I walked myself there and back, seeing my friends being taxied back and forth and I walking alone in the dark.


I have been doing this my whole life.

So do excuse me if I am overbearing, try too hard to be your friend ...

But can you see beyond and see the real me.

The harder I try.....


  1. ((hugs)) You're not alone. I had a borrowed prom dress too, and a blind date someone had set me up with who I spent the evening trying to avoid. I wore black boots with my dress because I didn't like high heels (still don't). I've spent my whole life trying to fit in and now I just don't care anymore. Let's go be awkward social outcasts together on the outskirts :) xx

  2. I did not have a prom, was not a thing at my school, would not have gone anyway, I did not like anyone at school. I was in care at 15, out on my own at 16, so get living on whatever food was about. I no longer care what people think, I am still painfully shy with strangers, because I have never learnt how to do small talk.

    1. I struggled at school too, and small talk I struggle at . I'm so very shy .

  3. I wore my cousins old bridesmaid dress and while my so called friends forget to tell me about the limo I made my own way there and back. You're not alone x

  4. I could have written this (except the boiled eggs on ryvita - that didn't hit until pregnancy) it's interesting to see the other comments too...we're obviously not alone in feeling like this, but sometimes it doesn't feel that way does it x


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