Friday, 6 March 2015

10 Things to Forty They Didn't Tell You About !

So you have just turned forty , you are either buoyant as you no doubt have done a bucket less of fabulous things to do before you are forty or you are having a major panic leading up to and self medication ( responsibly with gin)

You have been told it doesn't hurt , that forty is the new 21 and your life is in front of you , but what life you start to wonder when the cake and party popper have disappeared. The odd things start to happen and you start to brush them off , it couldn't be happening could it like after having a good giggle with your brain flicking a sanity switch on and off.

1. You start needing reading glasses but it is OK your mum worse those but then you remember her peering over the rims at you .

2. Mini is no longer a skirt but a jolly fun car that you'd quite like to own as you tootle down to the Woman's Institute meeting.

3. At the doctors you  skip over the fashion magazine and start to look at the recipe magazines , after all you now go shopping in your sunglasses.

4. After preparing the salad you  nearly wash up with the cucumber ~ which isn't as effective as a washing up brush it appears.

5. You put the weetabix on a dinner plate ~ it's OK you like being grown up and eating as if you are a a posh restaurant.

6. When shopping you bypass the thong section in the lingerie department as they won't hold the Tenna lady.

7. The next big birthday is 50  arrrrgh you are just getting into fluffy slipper mode .

8. The realisation perhaps you've always been 40 at heart as you like flat sensible shoes and when you do try high heels you look like a dominatrix.

9. The tabloids you know about the Kashadians and the one shaped like a bottle of Mateus rose  the internet  sensation that nearly broke the internet. 

10 You are more patient as you grew up loading Spectrum 48 k games that is real skill in learning patiance.


  1. I was an Atari ST girl myself..... and when I wear high heels, I swear everybody thinks I'm a transvestite.

  2. Just when you've got your head around being 40, you go through the menopause and, take it from me, it gets MUCH worse.;)
    I gave up on heels years ago when I realised I walk like a bloke in em.
    Good post, made I laugh it did. :D X

  3. LMAO at No. 8. I think I could resemble a drag queen when wearing heels and I'm only 30. There'll be no hope when I'm 40.


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