Wednesday, 6 January 2016

If A Cat Did New Years Resolutions

A blip on my horizon really won't last I am Captain Worry paws , * ok I may still a bit but not as much as I have been the last 2 days . I think why should I question myself  ~ anyway enough of that( I wouldn't want my owner to pick up on my insecurities ) . insert cat wink emoji at some point.




So what would my New Years Resolutions revolutions be if I could really be bothered and I am not.



I won't be sitting on the kitchen side or in the sink , and I know I really should be using the lower basket as this is where I should sleep , sleep being the operative word , but ever the rebel I do what I like.


I shall not be lying on the stairs in an attempt to trip my owner up or down but then again they really should be looking where they are going shouldn't they now.

I shall not walk backward after eating bugs, grass and goodness knows what making the human being think I have been pressed by the anti Christ.



The spirit of Cat Nip compels you .. ( head spin gif to be organised )

I will not use the underneath of the dishwasher to store live mice for  my late night snack. Never feed a gremlin after midnight though it has always puzzled me and what time exactly can you feed a Gremlin?

I will use my vocal cords to say when I want to leave a room and not eat the carpet make that carpets ...

If I bite the human they will take away my teddy bear ....

A candle is not a fair fight you  will singe your bottom.

I promise not to win up the neigh hood dogs "clem and have a go if you think you're hard enough "

Am not an ornament I will not threaten the life of the Windy Miller rare china decoration .
I vow not to check every door , if it is raining out of one door the human ensures me it will be raining out of all of them , though you have to check don't you .





I shall be writing a book a some point perhaps even launch my own youtube channel , I mean who wouldn't love a blogging cat , a blog PRO cat at that .  Kerching.

A blogging PRO cat yes yes  everyone shall fall at my paws and tickle my belly and give me treats , but damn it I will achieve getting that red dot .. have you seen it  ? have you huh huh ?










10 comments:

  1. A blogging cat? I'm down with that. One day cats will rule the world.

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  2. I shall not scratch the sofa and carpets - I wish our cat visitor would make that resolution!

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  3. Absolutely love these resolutions.

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  4. I think my pup needs some resolutions. Starting with I shall not go out in the garden to play and then come inside to crap on the floor!!

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  5. I was chuckling at this post .its funny. "How about I shall try to retail all my nine lives."

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  6. If I was a cat my resolution would be be just lie on my back and get tickled all the time!

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  7. Good luck with your resolutions ninja killer cat, I hope you realise we will be expecting progress updates. ;-)

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  8. I'd love to see a YouTube channel Ninja Killer Cat x x

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  9. Ooooo a cat written blog - now that would be a money spinner!

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  10. It's that time of year again

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