Tuesday 20 June 2017

Life After A Breakdown

Life After A Breakdown

“3 years since my breakdown .

I’ve got this .

I’m surviving .

I survived .”

These are the words I posted one morning recently as it 3 years since I had my breakdown , and I never really thought about much I just posted it .

Posting my thoughts and feelings , worry and what nots helps keep me in check. 3 years ago I feel apart from one thing and another and the final nail in my emotional coffin was the breakdown around a blogging conference .

The blogging conference isn’t to blame there were many work, home and external factors at play. Not everyone understood or had empathy which is a shame as it seemed one rule for one and one rule for another , I had those saying I was playing the victim but I wasn’t .

No matter I had to battle through , I didn’t get on my CBT counsellor and that’s not to say it doesn’t work as I’ve seen it work well for others . I don’t take tablets and again that’s my choice and I know many who do and are fine with it .

What I’ve found useful is documenting how I feel as I mentioned in the first paragraph, and I’ve had so much love and support its unbelievable I hadn’t though how much I was appreciated or how my words resonated with others who were suffering or people they knew.

That’s not to say I won’t have my down time as an habitual over thinker I’m really my own worse enemy at times . I do feel like I’m staring into a hole about to fall in but at other times I choose to step over that hole so that in my mind is a win.

I see my words as a cathartic journey with its ups and downs there are more ups than down and it is also a case of recognising what triggers me and either avoiding it or seeking help from those around me.

I always say to know me is to like me and if I have to constantly explain myself then you really don’t get me as I get very flustered in public situations.

I say if you feel you’re suffering from depression talk to people on-line and in real life you’ll find organisations like MIND and The Blurt Foundation. See your doctor or who ever you need to feel like yourself again .

Not saying it’s easy but

“The moment I stopped living up to everyone else’s expectations. 

I lived up to my own .”

Treat yourself like a camera and just adjust the focus , let the negative develop into a beautiful picture .

I’m not saying I’ve all the answers but this is me 3 years on .

claire - ninja cat blogger

I survived .

I previously wrote this a guest post and the words still ring true , I've developed a little of a teflon attitude but at times I do get chinks in my armour but my friends are like little lifts in my soul 

1 comment:

  1. I admire you for getting so far without taking any tablets. I know I still need mine at the moment but maybe one day. By the way I don't think you lie so will expect a kitten. ��


Everytime you comment on this blog you will be sent a kitten ... that could be a lie .. though it would make me very happy Thank You! If you are allergic to cats then wine will be sent .... * that could be a lie also.

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