It's crunch time.
It's June.
Again.
That time of the year when things didn't go well for me.
I'll say this yes it is my depression , yes it was my depression , no I am not playing the victim never will do.
I feel I have to say things to justify how I feel , You see I am dealing with my depression through self care and just telling people when I am feeling so so.
I am not blessed with the gift of everyone go ing oooh wow at my blog posts ~ maybe on occasion.
I know my self worth and it is high.
I have had time to relax , reflect and respect myself.
Time is a healer they say.
The date is coming up when I caused people to turn their backs on me. The more I tried to explain the worse it got and what it is IS what it is !
Everyone has a battle they are fighting and I can't hate it is not in my nature, I treat such people as I would the horrible radish with disdain. You can still tolerate people even if there is disdain and that is what sets us apart.
The blogging has helped me though.
Taking time to listen to me allows me time to heal.
The doctor the other week just said "what pills do you want ? mmmm mmmmm"
And told me "Sorry your appointment is only so long "
I choose not to have pills , I don't want this.
Time I choose time but sometimes we don't have enough time for each other.
And we should that person could very well need it .
That person could be me.
That person could be you.
PS I am Ok , but as it is my blog I am SO allowed to write what I like.
It's June.
Again.
That time of the year when things didn't go well for me.
I'll say this yes it is my depression , yes it was my depression , no I am not playing the victim never will do.
I feel I have to say things to justify how I feel , You see I am dealing with my depression through self care and just telling people when I am feeling so so.
I am not blessed with the gift of everyone go ing oooh wow at my blog posts ~ maybe on occasion.
I know my self worth and it is high.
I have had time to relax , reflect and respect myself.
Time is a healer they say.
The date is coming up when I caused people to turn their backs on me. The more I tried to explain the worse it got and what it is IS what it is !
Everyone has a battle they are fighting and I can't hate it is not in my nature, I treat such people as I would the horrible radish with disdain. You can still tolerate people even if there is disdain and that is what sets us apart.
The blogging has helped me though.
Taking time to listen to me allows me time to heal.
The doctor the other week just said "what pills do you want ? mmmm mmmmm"
And told me "Sorry your appointment is only so long "
I choose not to have pills , I don't want this.
Time I choose time but sometimes we don't have enough time for each other.
And we should that person could very well need it .
That person could be me.
That person could be you.
PS I am Ok , but as it is my blog I am SO allowed to write what I like.
There have been people who've turned their back on you, but there are also those of us who hugely respect you for being open about it. You're doing great x
ReplyDeleteYour blog. Your space. Your words. Your feelings. Your openness and honesty are refreshing and empowering, I hope you feel better for writing your feelings. I chose the no pill route too. They don't make me feel good, talking does, writing does, dealing with the root cause does. Keep being brave xxx
ReplyDeleteSorry this is a bad time for you. I'm glad the blogging and writing is helping. Big hugs x
ReplyDeleteBrave and beautifil post. And the last line left me applauding!
ReplyDelete... in fact it made me lose my ability to spell, sorry.
ReplyDeleteKeep blogging, writing, walking, looking, talking. I love your photos of paths and rivers and trees. Hope today you feel OK ... good even, though just alright and have time to relax and enjoy the passing clouds.
ReplyDeletePS Last yr I got a bike very like the one you've been eyeing - but less pricy I think, it's a Raleigh. I love it and how I feel sailing along in a stately old fashioned way. Do it! xx
Blogging is wonderful therapy, isn't it? I'm glad it helps and you must find these things and pursue them. Sorry to hear you're not feeing great :(
ReplyDeleteSometimes you have to look after yourself and not worry about what other people think. I know that the people that matter will always be by my side when I need them and I am sure the same is for you.
ReplyDeleteNever forget you are awesome! Not everyone knows it, but you are :) I always have time for you x
ReplyDelete