Friday, 23 November 2012

Gentleman prefer Blonds

Its been a laugh a minute this week in the Toplis household .... ( I can see you are already sniggering  ... tsk ) So this week in the Toplis household whilst my surname is hilarity enough when dealing with call centres. I know my name sounds like I am a playboy bunny sadly I am lacking the vital statistics.

"Your Surname please"

"Toplis" ... just waiting for the usual ..

"How are you spelling that ?"


"I thought it was going to be TOPLESS"

Stony silence .. I have heard this joke a squillion times.

"So how can I help you then"

And then there is the child ... yes the darling little bundle of fluff that in typical teen fashion can fathom the ability to put his shoes in the rack. Put his dirty clothes in the basket , hang his dressing gown up .. I really , really could go on all day.

And yet he is on the Gifted and Talented list at school and has a high IQ .... so this week his funnees have been.

"Have you ever dyed your hair blond?"

I squirm I have visions because he is at senior school that it will be something rude  *whispers you know collars and cuffs* Thankfully it wasn't ...

"No I haven't " I replied.

"Well you certainly act like it" he said quite seriously ...

Oh .. oh how I laughed....

And he other chestnut was whilst preparing tea he asked for a drink to which I replied I will get it in a minute.. And you know what it wasn't even a mummy minute which doesn't understand the laws of space and time. However I took my tea through and J said..

"Where's my drink??"

I said "I am just going back to get it..." resisting the temptation to say I only have one pair of hands..

To which he said " I thought women could multitask ...." ... sharp intake of breath.... Count to 10 ... go do a Sudoko puzzle ... discover the meaning of life and calm.

He got his drink .... I didn't pour it on his head temptation was there.

He isn't a rude boy he is just ...... a boy ... a teen .. a geek bit like Sheldon from Big Bang Theory... one of those mad academic types. So any future girlfriend don't expect flowers....


  1. Oh how mums love it when the kids begin to get sarcasm ;)

  2. Lol - gave me a giggle ;) xx I am training mine to cry on queue when I receive call centre calls or door stop sellers. Works a treat... Lol xx

  3. i like you get bored of the name thing - Jaime Oliver.... and no i cant cook! my maiden name was Summers

    Jaime Summers - and no i am not the bionic women (for those of you that remember her)

    and this blonde cant multitask! lol lol lol


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