Wednesday 27 January 2021

3 Evils Pigeons

3 Evil pigeons that is the start to the birds appearing in my garden , I can see them now as I write this while I stand in my kitchen staring out in the wonder and the pigeons are there staring .I see them bobbing their heads will they look at my form varying positions on my neighbours extension . I think they're the neighbours that own the cat that look s like a serial killer because this cat is as hard as nails. 




I move into kitchen to make a cup of tea and they’re there staring making notes on when to try and kill me.I’m pretty sure they are there in the dark as well . You might think they’re all sweet a myth portrayed by Mary Poppins with that song 


“Feed the birds”


I go for my regular pandemic walk and I’m sure they’re stalking me . Pigeon s will take over the world I’m sure of it.



Monday 25 January 2021

How I Came To Be Diagnosed as Autistic

How did I come to diagnosed as Autistic ? I mean I did not happen to pop into into my shopping basket one day as a 2 for 1 off or find in in the bargain bin with a CD of a long singer long past their Christmas prime.It was a gradual lighbulb moment like a cartoon symbol appearing over your head and it helped in my previous existence I was a special needs teaching assistant working hosting with Autistic children who had an infinity with me.



I was tripping to the doctors with various things thinking something in me didn't quite fit and at one stage a doctor did ask if I heard voices and it was at this stage I felt like turning round looking over my should and say

"We don't hear voices do we now people "


I was the free range child the one running about and climbing trees and jumping out of windows , I have to add these were ground floor windows.

I think I was very much the child who was like Wednesday Adams from the Adams family except I had bobbed hair fashioned by the hairdressers from hell.And I never really like my hair as it went in only 3 styles but in time I have learnt to like it for it is part of me and I won’t  be bent to the whim of anyone

I was sort of repellent to friends unless they were boys and I got on so much better with them .

I struggled with school work though despite being capable in thought , it was the committing those ideas to paper that was the chore . I always had on reports 

“ Claire asks very searching questions “

I could not at all get maths it is and still is like voodoo for me .

It’s is culmination of life events abs indeed working as a SEN teaching assistant that prompted me to see what that nagging issue was in my life .I’m the lost generation of Autistic women from the 70,80 90 s as everyone thought Autism just affected boys ,but we now know that isn’t true .

Thursday 14 January 2021

Use Up What You've Got Cottage Pie

 




Yesterday it was Turkey Keema with peas and jolly tasty it was too and I had some left over so I decided to turn the leftovers into a Cottage Pie , 


Ingredients 


Left over mince 

Tin of green lentils drained and mixed with some butter 


Gravy enough to cover

Mash to cover 

Method 


Put the left over mince in a oven proof dish 


Next add the gravy to it


Then add the layer of buttered lentils 


Bung it in the oven at 180 c for 20 minutes 


And while this is cooking prepare some mashed potato 


After 20 minutes put the mash potato on top then put back in the oven for 20 minutes.






Tuesday 12 January 2021

Slow Cooker Turkey Keema With Peas



Ingredients 

One onion fried 
2 garlic cloves ( crushed )

1 tbsp mild curry powder 

1 packet of Turkey mince 

2 tins of chopped tomatoes or 1 can of tomatoes and 200 ml of reduced fat coconut milk 

250 g peas

Flaked sea salt 

Freshly ground pepper 


Method 

First fry the onion 

Then whack everything else in the slow cooker 

Add that fried onion 

Now I didn’t have coconut milk so added 2 tins of chopped tomatoes and a little water 

I let the slow cooker do it’s magic for 8 hours on slow 



Thursday 7 January 2021

Lockdown Antidote Day 2

 After yesterday when Joe Wicks tried to break me with his hip openers ( you have to read yesterdays blog post to get this ) I have decided to look for more gentle online exercise videos more suited to me and much to the happiness of the cat who look perplexed at me flaying round the floor like a Octopus in a Thrash metal band.I nearly walked outside yesterday but declared it too slippy and beat a hasty retreat instead with a nice cup of tea , I think it is also a bit of lockdown Stockholm syndrome .So today I will figure out the exercise bike and stop drying everyones pants on it.


My cat after he’s noticed we’re not going out as much...




Wednesday 6 January 2021

Lockdown Antidote day 1

A lockdown antidote sounds like a very posh Aunty you might have stashed somewhere in your family.Another lockdown another whole heap of can of worms but I digress and today my sights are set on the mighty Joe Wicks saviour of Lockdown fitness and all round nice guy.

I thought as Michael Bubble returned to his Christmas cave then Joe Wicks would emerge and low he did like a prodigal Jesus and he can cook to boot.I thought that maybe just maybe I could do with some flexing up as the only excercise I’m getting is opening the front door to see the Amazon or Ocado person sprint off down the road like Usain Bolt ( they’re heroes and I’m grateful to them )

I found a 10 minute warm up which Joe assure me would be ideal before I threw myself into lunges and all manner of other athletic poses. Joe and myself started off well but then he got onto hip openers and I was 

“ Easy tiger we’ve only just met “


I think anymore hip flexing then my spleen would be able to be removed from my nose.