Wednesday, 18 February 2015

Finding your Jigsaw Fit

Your personality should never limit you and you should never feel inferior to anyone else. For a long time until recently I didn't think I fitted in the world ( not in a morbid or sad way)

In a way where I felt I was part of a jigsaw but I didn't seem to fit into this jigsaw the edges of my personality weren't allowing me to fit , the jigsaw seemed to be the one I though I should fit into but I think it was faux. I am feeling more at ease with the world now and I do have friends however when people talk to me I have a niggling feeling on occasion that I wonder why !


Up shot of it I am looking forward more and more and not looking back ,  I am part of a new jigsaw of life now and for the most part I fit though sometimes I fall down the back of the sofa or get scooted round the front room by the cat.

Through social media I have found good friends who share my love of photography, tea ( I measure myself in levels of tea , this morning I was running on tea empty and have just about topped up my levels ), gin & win occasionally ( I talk it more than I drink it , nothing beats a virtual gin) Some friends I don't talk to everyday but I know they are there like a great painting to be admired and to go to , some friends I talk to everyday it might something I say that has ticked their funny bone , or we are just so similar you would have thought that we were twins.

I am random as I have said before and my randomness helps me get through life  , I have suffered and still suffer on and off from mental illness and have had people not understanding this and then turning the other cheek whilst understanding other people. I can not fathom why folk are like this in lacking empathy and I have come to the conclusion it is because their brains are starved of tea.

"I am the one and only" ( this comment has powered slide in from the 80's curtesy of Chesney Hawkes

"I still be doing the way I do "

As Chesney says "I am the one and only only and you can't take that away from me "


It has taken me a long time for me to hold my head with dignity and pride , and I won't let anyone ver tell me again that I should take tablets as once was told to me suggesting if I did I would be 3/4 to being better.

That was the most abhorrent thing I think that has ever been said to me , but then again some people say the wrong thing.

I've made mistakes no doubt and I have compromised to get where I am today there are good compromises the bad compromise has reared its head and this has made me caught between friends but on reflections friends with a knife behind their back.

I am happy to be a jigsaw piece in a new set and not this time through rose tinted glasses though the other day I has to wear my sunglasses as I put down my glasses and couldn't find them.


25 comments:

  1. What a lovely, positive post. Glad you are feeling better. There are always be people who don't get you, but as long as you have some friends who understand you, that's all that matters! x

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  2. I think it's very rare people say something just to be hurtful, and if you really think they were then at least you now know where you stand and can avoid them!
    It is hard to be sympathetic to someone when you don't understand where they are. You might think you have an idea, and try to say the right things, but unless you're with them 24/7 and living their life, with their thoughts, fears and worries, you can't. You can only try.
    As I've got older I've realised I'll fit just about anywhere, and I can do it in stealth mode, so if I find I don' belong, I'll just slide right back out and go find somewhere else :) x

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  3. Lack of tea has an awful lot to answer for....

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  4. I hear you lovely lady. I never feel like I fit in very often, so pleased I have online friends to chat to as there is lack of adult conversation for me but plenty of tea and gin real or the virtual kind. Good on you for holding your head high, sometimes it's a really hard thing to do, especially on a down day xx

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  5. Glad you are feeling better, it's always good to chat to friends, and tea - tea is always good! :)

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  6. We're all a bit jigsaw-shaped, I think....we just need to work out where our home is. Glad to hear you're feeling a bit better (you're right, tea always helps!)

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  7. *bursts out singing* "You are the one and only!* Love you Claire x

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  8. Lovely idea. We are all different pieces, in several different jigsaws in life I think! This is such a positive outlook x

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  9. This made me cry. I know it wasnt meant that way, but I am struggling at the moment. finding things hard and am still looking for the other pieces

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  10. Thank you! It's a very inspirational post - a bit sad but at the same time with happy ending! I sometimes feel the same way like I don't fit but don't really know how to fight it.

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  11. Aww glad you have people that you can share yourself with. I often feel like I don't fit in. I think in some way most people feel the same. Love your positivity. x

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  12. awww Claire glad to hear your moving onwards and upwards and also that you are not trying to change to fit in a jigsaw ... i will always be the odd piece and its a great place to be! you shouldn't have to change

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  13. Ah sounds like you've found yourself recently, I'm really pleased for you x x

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  14. What a great post from the heart., I love your randomness, its what shines about you x

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  15. What a fantastic post. I have always been the jigsaw piece that didn't quite fit right all my life, despite how hard I tried to force myself into place. I am, well not completely happy, shall we say comfortable? Yes, comfortable. I am comfortable with myself now, I feel that I have in some way grown into myself, it is just such a shame it took nearly 33 years for me to get to this point.

    I still have days where I can't understand why people talk to me or I feel they're only doing so out of pity or to 'just be nice', but I have had years of conditioning myself to feel that way and it's not going to change overnight. However I am able to talk myself round a lot quicker than I used to be able to do in the past.

    I too suffer with mental health and I often wonder if it is a side effect of trying to conform to the supposed norm when it didn't feel right. So from now on I refused to be defined by the misconceptions and expectations of others.

    Keep up the good work. Who wants to fit into any old puzzle when they can make their own.

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  16. Great post. It is hard to find where you fit. I know it is something I have struggled with until very recently. I often wonder why my friends are my friends. I guess it is because they see something in me that I don't see in myself. I kinda like that. Thank you for being so open and honest. Hugs Mrs H xxxx

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  17. love the analogy, a great piece of writing.
    I had a colleague say to me the other week "nobody likes you or wants to work with you" maybe that should make me sad but it doesnt on two levels, 1) I am there to earn a wage and if nobody like me thats their loss and 2) its not true she was just being bitchy. I think more of us that would admit feel we dont fit somewhere along the line.

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  18. Love you Claire, keep on keeping on just the way you are:-) #spookytwin

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  19. I know how it feels to not fit in, but your right, the answer is to find the right jigsaw for yourself, rather than altering yourself to fit the wrong jigsaw

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  20. If the jigsaw piece doesn't fit, build a whole new creative unique puzzle around it, as you obviously do. You are who you are, keep on being unique.

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  21. Glad you're feeling better, but not sure why a suggestion of medication is a bad thing? I take meds for my mental health...am I missing something?

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    1. Because the person who suggested turned their back on me and was horrible.
      And they weren't helpful at a hard time.
      Tablets weren't for me then that's not to say I won't .
      They not a bad thing and you're not missing anything.

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  22. You are so not alone in feeling random, not quite fitting in or being understood or struggling with mental health issues. Over time, I have worked out that people like you and I are the sanest folks of all. I like the humour in this post too

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  23. Well, I take tablets and they do help to an extent, but it's still a bandaid rather than a cure...

    I try my hardest to accept my jigsaw edges not fitting like everyone else's, but sometimes it's hard.

    Thank you for sharing this on Blog Builders! I needed to hear it. <3

    http://softthistle.net

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