Saturday, 11 July 2015

How Do you solve A Problem Like A Ninja ?

What keeps us young ?

I suspect it is do a bit of what you fancy or in my case rather a lot , I am by nature a willow the wisp character , a flitter and a flutter. When they said " how do solve a problem like Maria ?" I think they were actually referring to me. I used to worry when I used confuse people but you know what I don't care any more , if I need to explain I will , if you truly know me you'll get it.

I'm the wave that can't be pinned to the sand.

The flippity gipity ness is what keeps me young that and tea , I mean who else would mop the floor before making a cup of tea?

See I am the other side of an anniversary of my depression and I am now feeling that I am living, why should I keep worrying about people think of me , we can't like everyone. I didn't get on with CBT last year it wasn't for me to be honest down a counsellor with an emotional range of a teaspoon to quote Hermione from Harry Potter.

For me I have learnt talking through things helps to my friends I mean my real friends and that is what works for me. I can't spend my life worrying about every little thing I am not living in the moment awoken if you will. It is what us Ninjas do us willow the wisps us trail blazers...

Pegging out washing pause.

You see the turning point is accepting what I cannot change like the weather I am no more in control of that than I am of a cat ~ free will and all that jazz.

I do have flighty moments but now I walk away from what think might be triggering it and live my day and it is fantastic , for when you relax you notice the finer details it life. It is  a sign of a light bulb being switched on in your brain. For all the times people told me not to worry about it and let it go they were right it was just fighting it out how ! The more you are told it is reactionary to listen less  it is what us humans do ! until we spark ourselves out.

I am brave , I am a hero I am me 

The other evening I went to sign with the community choir I hadn't been to for years  and it was my first time back since my breakdown , we were to sing at the local dementia home. I arrived with my work colleague and to say I was anxious was an understatement , I couldn't look up at first. The reason I couldn't look up wasn't because of the audience but my own inhibitions but as I sang I did look up and noticed the finer details. the finer details I noticed was the joy that music brings to the human soul and condition it unlocks from our mental fight. To see dementia sufferers taping along and singing , and they kept us out our toys , it was a humbling experience and when the music some retreated back into themselves.

Music can reach them .

Music can reach.

See now I am living life for me

SO how do you solve a problem like a Ninja ?


  1. I don't think there are any problems to solve. Just keep on keeping on :-)

  2. I sit on my arse and watch tennis!

  3. I don't think there is any problems to solve. You are lovely just the way you are x

  4. so glad you're coming through the other side. i identified what triggered my depression and wrote a list of things I could do to avoid it when i felt it creeping up on me


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