Thursday, 10 September 2015

How I can feel

Mental health is something we talk about yet we don't talk about , it can be very hard handling it day day and a battle can be going on in your mind especially if this is coupled with anxiety. I work in a school so obviously I get the the long holidays which is super but it can also be a curse to my mind. I work with wonderful people and it is a superb school but I have to engage myself with more people than I have been used to in the holidays.  And while I did pop to London on my own and this is a huge step it took a lot of courage to do so.


I am talking about the return to routine which if you have a mental health condition you yearn for but at the same time you don't want it . It is very much a double edged sword I feel I have to justify my feelings so much at times to people but all I am simply am going through is a blip . I can't help it at all and nowadays if I am feeling it I make sure I stay away from situations where I could dig myself a very big social media hole.


I should be off to a knitting club later, I have not knitted since I was 7 and I knitted a scarf for my teddy bear , which was very long  ( similar to Doctor Who Tom Bakers )and it is with people which I find worrying at the best of times. I think the cats would like a knitted scarf and wouldn't they look a treat.



Tomorrow I have to go and listen to information about sons sixth form and ask questions ( of which my family told me I am very good at )


You see I know I can be confidant but I dislike being called on when I makes errors I feel so small and embarrassed , some people do seem to take pleasure in correcting others a very erroneous grip on power !


But for now the light is shining though the windows which are clean hurrah ! and I can plot and plan holidays you see I need something to focus on to get me through.





2 comments:

  1. YOU POPPED TO LONDON? Why did I not know this?

    Seriously though, hope the knitting and the sixth form questioning go well. It sounds like there are some meanie people out there, but also like you've figured out how to deal with them :)

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  2. Good luck with the knitting. The cats might also like a matching hat! I also don't like new people/events, but I force myself. Maybe one day it will get easier. Maybe never. But at least you try.

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