Monday, 20 January 2014

The Drugs Don't Work.

My name is Jack

  " I've been clean from drugs  catnip for 1 day .




In my defence someone left the kitchen door open.

And the catnip was just lying there.

I had one , the one lead to 2 .

Then the pink elephants starting going on parade .

How weird is that ? And I've not even seen the film Dumbo.

And the Poinsettia ; let's be honest no expects those things to last beyond Christmas anyway.

It was spoiling for a fight, so I took it down all the way to China town.

It died.

I won.

Seems I am not allowed catnip treats for a while now.

There was talk of me going on Jeremy Kyle .

Where I would have to face the demons of my past.

I tell you the catnip toy mouse was begging for it, so I ripped his ears off.

And apparently I didn't help matters when I brought a mouse in which happily sat under the fridge freezer bricking itself .

Mrs human bean couldn't remove it .

And Mr Human Bean wouldn't come home from work as he was on a conference call to Hong Kong.

It was removed eventually when Mr Human Bean came home.

He was muttering something about the Hong Kong people thinking his work place had a mouse problem.

My name is Jack and I have a catnip problem ."



35 comments:

  1. Well I wouldn't mess with him! ;)
    That look is pure, "I'LL 'AVE YER UNLESS YER GIVE ME SOME CATNIP!"
    *Looks at dozy lurcher in appreciation*
    Funny post. ;) x

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  2. I'd watch him! He seems he would do anything for some more!

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  3. Lol who knew catnip was so addictive! Think you might need professional help! ;)

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  4. Is there a 12 step programme to help? Maybe one needs to be developed ;)

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  5. LoL. That is one episode of Jeremy Kyle I would like to see.

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  6. I'll be honest, I know nothing about cats and thought catnip was something my husband had made up, turns out I'm all kind of wrong!!

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  7. Ha ha ha! Catnip is evil stuff. Hilarious but evil.

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  8. Never believe them, they will tell you all sorts, but cats only really think of number one!! :-)

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  9. Haha this post really tickled me...naughty kitty cat

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  10. He is cute! Hope he overcomes his addiction?? I don't know a lot about cats so I am not too familiar with cat nip myself

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  11. lol! You nutter. A nice nutter, obviously ;) x

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  12. That's so funny.....your cat does not look impressed though lol

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  13. LMBO - can't wait to see you on JK x

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  14. Tut tut that bad catnip the things it makes the naughty kitties do! x

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  15. Maybe time for Catnip Anonymous!

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  16. We used to call smacking the cats up when we gave them catnip!

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  17. Ha ha - this made me laugh even though I don't actually know what catnip is ;-)

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  18. Haha I'll have to share this with my best friend; she doesn't have human babies, she has cat babies and she'll love this post!

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  19. Jack, when will you ever learn? You were framed by that evil Rollie again, weren't you?

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  20. My local pet shop owner used to say he got some dodgy looking types in there buying catnip! Very classy!

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  21. Lol who knew catnip was so addictive, although I'd be too scared to take the catnip off this cat!

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  22. What a great post :) really needed a post to make me smile, and though I am not usually a cat person your post was exactly what I didn't even know I needed! :)

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  23. ROFLMAO at your story. You write quite well.

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  24. Brilliant Claire! Jack shouldn't have any more but he looks like he really wants it!

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  25. Oh wow, a high cat, we used to have a tom cat but he must have been at it every day as he was wiiiiiild! Now it all makes sense :-)

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  26. He looks like he is plotting to take over the world! :)

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  27. Poor Jack. I think Mr and Mrs Human need to stage an intervention. Well done on taking the first step and admitting you have a problem. ;D

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  28. Catnip - heroin for cats :) Cats On Crack :) I hope your mum is being kind and letting you have some now and then! x

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