My name is Jack
" I've been clean from drugs catnip for 1 day .
In my defence someone left the kitchen door open.
And the catnip was just lying there.
I had one , the one lead to 2 .
Then the pink elephants starting going on parade .
How weird is that ? And I've not even seen the film Dumbo.
And the Poinsettia ; let's be honest no expects those things to last beyond Christmas anyway.
It was spoiling for a fight, so I took it down all the way to China town.
It died.
I won.
Seems I am not allowed catnip treats for a while now.
There was talk of me going on Jeremy Kyle .
Where I would have to face the demons of my past.
I tell you the catnip toy mouse was begging for it, so I ripped his ears off.
And apparently I didn't help matters when I brought a mouse in which happily sat under the fridge freezer bricking itself .
Mrs human bean couldn't remove it .
And Mr Human Bean wouldn't come home from work as he was on a conference call to Hong Kong.
It was removed eventually when Mr Human Bean came home.
He was muttering something about the Hong Kong people thinking his work place had a mouse problem.
My name is Jack and I have a catnip problem ."
Well I wouldn't mess with him! ;)
ReplyDeleteThat look is pure, "I'LL 'AVE YER UNLESS YER GIVE ME SOME CATNIP!"
*Looks at dozy lurcher in appreciation*
Funny post. ;) x
He scares me witless
DeleteI'd watch him! He seems he would do anything for some more!
ReplyDeleteHe is rather funny !
DeleteLol who knew catnip was so addictive! Think you might need professional help! ;)
ReplyDeleteI am calling in the help!
DeleteIs there a 12 step programme to help? Maybe one needs to be developed ;)
ReplyDeleteLoL. That is one episode of Jeremy Kyle I would like to see.
ReplyDeleteI'll be honest, I know nothing about cats and thought catnip was something my husband had made up, turns out I'm all kind of wrong!!
ReplyDeleteHa ha ha! Catnip is evil stuff. Hilarious but evil.
ReplyDeleteYes he was going on a big trip!
DeleteNever believe them, they will tell you all sorts, but cats only really think of number one!! :-)
ReplyDeleteHaha this post really tickled me...naughty kitty cat
ReplyDeleteHe is cute! Hope he overcomes his addiction?? I don't know a lot about cats so I am not too familiar with cat nip myself
ReplyDeletelol! You nutter. A nice nutter, obviously ;) x
ReplyDeleteThat's so funny.....your cat does not look impressed though lol
ReplyDeleteLMBO - can't wait to see you on JK x
ReplyDeleteTut tut that bad catnip the things it makes the naughty kitties do! x
ReplyDeleteMaybe time for Catnip Anonymous!
ReplyDeleteJust say no Jack !!
ReplyDeleteWe used to call smacking the cats up when we gave them catnip!
ReplyDeleteHa ha - this made me laugh even though I don't actually know what catnip is ;-)
ReplyDeleteHaha I'll have to share this with my best friend; she doesn't have human babies, she has cat babies and she'll love this post!
ReplyDeleteJack, when will you ever learn? You were framed by that evil Rollie again, weren't you?
ReplyDeleteMy local pet shop owner used to say he got some dodgy looking types in there buying catnip! Very classy!
ReplyDeleteLol who knew catnip was so addictive, although I'd be too scared to take the catnip off this cat!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post :) really needed a post to make me smile, and though I am not usually a cat person your post was exactly what I didn't even know I needed! :)
ReplyDeleteROFLMAO at your story. You write quite well.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant Claire! Jack shouldn't have any more but he looks like he really wants it!
ReplyDeleteOh wow, a high cat, we used to have a tom cat but he must have been at it every day as he was wiiiiiild! Now it all makes sense :-)
ReplyDeleteHe looks like he is plotting to take over the world! :)
ReplyDeletehaha catnip is so funny! x
ReplyDeletePoor Jack. I think Mr and Mrs Human need to stage an intervention. Well done on taking the first step and admitting you have a problem. ;D
ReplyDeleteCatnip - heroin for cats :) Cats On Crack :) I hope your mum is being kind and letting you have some now and then! x
ReplyDelete