My name is Jack
" I've been clean from
drugs catnip for 1 day .
In my defence someone left the kitchen door open.
And the catnip was just lying there.
I had one , the one lead to 2 .
Then the pink elephants starting going on parade .
How weird is that ? And I've not even seen the film Dumbo.
And the Poinsettia ; let's be honest no expects those things to last beyond Christmas anyway.
It was spoiling for a fight, so I took it down all the way to China town.
Seems I am not allowed catnip treats for a while now.
There was talk of me going on Jeremy Kyle .
Where I would have to face the demons of my past.
I tell you the catnip toy mouse was begging for it, so I ripped his ears off.
And apparently I didn't help matters when I brought a mouse in which happily sat under the fridge freezer bricking itself .
Mrs human bean couldn't remove it .
And Mr Human Bean wouldn't come home from work as he was on a conference call to Hong Kong.
It was removed eventually when Mr Human Bean came home.
He was muttering something about the Hong Kong people thinking his work place had a mouse problem.
My name is Jack and I have a catnip problem ."